Making Tasty Lemonade

If you're here, you should know...

I love stories.

I love hearing them. I love sharing them. I love learning from them. And I especially enjoy hearing and sharing them over a great meal.

You see, storytelling has been a part of me since birth. Just as it's difficult to turn away from someone calling your name, I couldn't ignore the sound of a story. And stories do call to me.

But little did I know when I decided to get back into writing...writing about the things that make me move and grove the most: travel, discovering tasty eats, and solving the world's problems one conversation at a time...that a pandemic would make things tricky.

Tricky. But not impossible.

You know the adage: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right? Well making my lemonade during COVID started with tackling some culinary fears at home. 

Yes.

I know. 

We were all faced with making our own meals at home when COVID took center stage and only grocery stores were open. Little by little restaurants were able to offer takeout (when they could) and outdoor eating options when deemed less risky, but in the beginning it was just me, my refrigerator and pantry, and the question: 

Well what should I make?

Before we go any further, let me get something off my chest. While I love food, appreciate the art of cooking, and enjoy the full celebration of feasting, I am not all that great at creating it for myself. 

My mother was an excellent cook. My dad loved to grill from time to time. And my sister took up the culinary call and is a wiz. But me? Well, my creativity was focused on other areas and I soon picked up the enabling mantra of, "Who am I to deny their joy of cooking by cooking something myself?"

I know. 

Weak. 

And dare I say a delusional coping mechanism to hide my fear of cooking failure.

Fast forward 30+ years and I found myself staring at all those cookbooks given by well-meaning friends to help me confront my fears. From "build the best burger" to the ultimate from "Food & Wine" magazine, the books looked out from their dusty shelf as they had done everyday. But now I was looking back. As a distraction from what I knew I had to do, I did dust the shelf. Then I dusted every book. 

Distraction.

Deflection.

Procrastination. 

In the beginning, instead of jumping into a (now clean) book for a recipe, I went with my safe/go to/comforting moves. Breakfast for dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs, pork tenderloin and then great pork fried rice leftovers.

It was good. Fine. 

But a couple of things/thoughts started to happen over time:

My taste buds craved the culinary talents of others.

I longed to connect with friends. 

Angst began creeping in when the urge to discover new places went nowhere in vain. 

Waves of overwhelming gratitude followed by guilt would take over when thinking how good I really have it and I should be taking the time to honor my situation and learn some new skills.

So I decided to get my big girl pants on and opened one of those books. Little by little, I discovered I was making more than just a new meal, I was making lemonade; creating  a new definition for myself...lover of cooking.

This theme translated into seasoned tilapia with jasmine rice and steamed veggies; chicken Parmesan  and provolone with angel hair pasta and spinach salad, and dare I say some ridiculously delicious chocolate chip banana bread.

Tasty lemonade.

But what about conversation and appreciating others?

What about connection?

Here's where the lemonade gets some sweet sugar.

Week after week passes and COVID gets stronger. More lives lost. More information hitting us. More isolation. 

Less toilet paper. 

We become more vigilant or more disrespectful. The extremes of politicizing a health crisis take their toll. 

On the economy. 

On the health care system.

On families.

On schools.

On homes.

On relationships.

On mental health. 

On...

You get the point.

Here's where I began thinking of what I wanted not only in this moment, but all moments. 

Turns out I craved sharing my new found happiness.

Don't get me wrong. Being a single mom; having lived through the drama of divorce and subsequent rebound relationships, I could have easily gone in a bitter direction. But I went on a different path and discovered the secret to my happiness...

I discovered I can choose it.

Yep. Just like you can choose to sit and watch a movie rather than work out, or eat that yummy salted caramel ice cream versus kale (yeah, I know...this isn't really a choice because who would choose kale?), you can choose to be happy. And after being unhappy for a long time, I made the commitment to myself to be happy. To choose happiness...even if that meant I was going to live my new pursuit of happiness life as single. Because at the end of the day and this life, we should remember the happiness and joy we went after and experienced over anything else. And if we don't, then it's a waste.

Sure...I dated after divorce and learned some really valuable lessons; including the importance of being choosy and not settling. So while I have no interest in seeing any of those I dated while learning these lessons, I thank them for their part in helping shape my new-found thinking and honing my happiness radar. That was a choice, too; looking at situations as a learning experience rather than holding on to bitterness. 

But now, in COVID, with perspective, I wanted to be sharing happiness. 

Timing sucks, right? I mean, I'm finally ready to put myself out there with clarity and purpose to see if this happy single could be a part of a happy couple...and a global pandemic happens. This situation would make even the most positive person want to crawl back in bed. 

But...after some research into what dating in a pandemic looks like, I decided to take a chance and re-entered the world of online dating.

I know, I know. 

This is supposed to be a foodie/travel blog, but this is where it gets the most tasty. 

I promise.

COVID created a new online dating atmosphere and provided time to really connect with words; thus  ramping up everyone's conversation skills. Because let's face it...those of us in the dating pool (at least those of us looking for more than the proverbial "hook up") weren't going to invest in meeting someone during a pandemic unless there was some significant verbal connections.

But first I had to create a profile. 

And with more research and a lot of views of Matthew Hussey's dating pep talks and advice, I created what I thought was a story that captured a bit of who I am, put out the right amount of energy, and offered a clear description of what I was looking for.

Weeks go by with a lot of scrolling and reading; a lot of thanks but no thanks to men who were not the right fit; a few online conversations, and a small handful of chats and walks. I met some nice guys and some creepy ones that were blocked (hey...it's online dating, you're going to have some freaky moments). After a couple of months of this, I was beginning to rethink happiness as part of a couple was possible for me. I was about to give up.

And that's when I met him.

His photos were adorable.

A short, but sweet, profile.

Currently pursuing a PhD.

He sent a like.

I'll admit I was hesitant at first because of his relationship status. I had some ground rules based on my experiences and was sticking to them (which is the advice I'd give to anyone looking to pursue any kind of dating). So I took notice, but nothing else.

After a week or so, he took the initiative to send a funny note. So I replied; and took a bold step to ask about his situation.

Remember what I said about loving stories?

And he responded with a story I wasn't expecting. 

Open. 

Vulnerable. 

I took notice of how his words struck me.

This was the point where I again got my big girl pants on and checked in with what my goal was...to share happiness. And then I checked in with a couple other things with my ground rules and decided to reply to his unexpected and unfiltered tale.

It turns out we went to the same university and know mutual people with shared experiences...some of which overlapped and we never met.

More talking led to a first date hike at a nearby state park. It's a favorite of mine and I felt comfortable knowing many of the trails. Plus the wide open outdoors lent itself to natural social distancing.

One look at his smile triggered both comfort and butterflies. As I found myself walking closer, I said I was a hugger and soon found myself smiling as I smelled his freshly laundered shirt with a hint of aftershave during our warm squeeze.

Right off the bat the conversation flowed effortlessly. As we shared stories of our college days with mutual friends, we marveled at how we didn't meet earlier. We encountered a couple on the verge of a proposal and chuckled at our juxtaposition. When he instinctively and kindly put out his hand to hold as we hit steep terrain, I knew I was in trouble with this one. I mean, cute, smart, great conversationalist, and kind? Holy. Moly.

Two hours later we were back at the site of our first hug and went in for a second as we agreed to meet again. I went home thinking I was glad for not giving up because this lemonade I discovered today was the tastiest I'd ever had.

Be on the lookout for my partner in crime in future wandering posts. Until then, jump in and taste the goodness out there. 

As always, here is a soundtrack of the tunes that found me during this wandering session:

That's My Girl, Fifth Harmony

Roar, Katy Perry

Kids, OneRepublic

Rain on Me, Lady Gaga with Ariana Grande

Need You Tonight, INXS

Joy, King & Country